Tuesday, August 15, 2006


Editor's Note: Former college and pro football star Joe Theismann has served as an analyst for Teapot Dome Scandal since 1988. He also owns a restaurant. Joe is a very optimistic and kind man. Its said that Joe has gotten angry only once in his entire life. Contrary to popular belief, it was not when Ricky Williams signed with the Toronto Argonauts. It was when Living Single was cancelled.

First, let me say that I'm glad you've decided to read my collumn! I'm a little better at reading a defense than spelling but I'll try my best! So you got a fantasy team and you want to make sure you're picking the right players? Well, you've come to the right place! After months of tireless research, I will provide you with the most comprehensive and accurate fantasy football analysis. Lets start with a position thats I might know a little about: Quarterback! Duh!


Let me just say that its amazing that anyone can make it to the NFL and succeed. These guys are all winners in my book! OK, you twisted my arm:

1. Jay Fiedler: Some might think is a bit of a gamble, but hey isn't that what fantasy is about? OK, so Fiedler only threw for 107 yards last year and he'll be backing up both Chris Simms and Brian Griese. So what?!?! Jay threw for over 3000 yards in 2001 AND he went to an Ivy League school. Jay's a class act.

2. Tim Hasselbeck: Matt's the sexy pick coming into this year but I think Tim will surprise the heck out of everyone. I'm not necessarily sure that he's signed to a team yet but expect huge things from this former Golden Eagle this year.

3. Jim Sorgi: If you're new to fantasy football, it would make sense to take Peyton. Coming from a seasoned fantasy player, let me warn you, don't fall for it. Peyton only threw for 28 touchdowns last year. Let me give you a tip: The majority of fantasy stats are scored in the final minutes of blowouts. You'll get this Sorgi kid coming in with the Colts up huge. Coach Dungee knows the most effective way to eat clock is to throw deep, often. Sorgi throws for 35 touchdowns easy. My gut has him ranked 1 above Fiedler but Jay has David Boston. You can't argue with that.

4. Rex Grossman: Word has it that Grossman has really blossomed in Ron Turner's system. We're talking high octane, pass first offense. No one can deny the fact that the Bears displayed some astonishing offensive prowess last season. This is a franchise that has been known to develop some of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game. This is Grossman's year

5. Aaron Rodgers: I wish I was as lucky as this kid. Aaron gets another year to study
under the most reliable passer in the NFL. I think as soon as Brett Favre retires in the next few seasons, Rodgers might start. No guaruntees here. I gotta admit, this is a character pick. If you want a nice, clean cut young man then this is your pick.

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