Monday, August 20, 2007

People of New Orleans awaiting next football season so they can resume being inspired

The Saints' brutal 39-14 defeat at the hands of the Bears Sunday left the players scratching their heads - and the people of New Orleans without a source of inspiration.

With no more Saints games until the preseason resumes in August, New Orleans citizens will now have to face several months without anyone to inspire them or distract them from the grueling aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.

"Watching Drew Brees throw for 350 yards each week was really what kept me going during this rough time," said Geoff Greene, a high school teacher from the Garden District. "Without the Saints winning improbably, how am I going to be inspired? No one in my family's handicapped or anything. One kid at my school is, but it's not inspiring, it's actually a little sad."

Other fans are depressed at the thought of returning to a reality without a Saints season to occupy them.

"It was such a great distraction from everything," said Ana Walzer, a Carrolton resident. "We'd cheer at the screen, 'go Deuce, go Reggie!' and then be like, 'wait, what happened last year? Never mind, I remember now. But for a second there I forgot.' It's gonna be tough to go without that for the next few months."

New Orleans City Councilman John Batt Jr. spoke of the ideological implications of the Saints' magical season.

"Having the Saints back playing in the Superdome was our way of announcing to the country, we're strong, we're together, and we're not going anywhere," he said. "Now how are we going to do it? Jazz or something? Cajun food? Yeah, maybe CBS will air a three hour event where people gather in the Superdome to eat crawfish. This sucks."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

That was just plain ugly. You are a sad little person.

Anonymous said...

you're wrong. the primary source of inspiration for new orleanians has always been, and will continue to be, booze.

Anonymous said...

Jay Batt was defeated in last year's election.

But thanks for playing!

Dan said...

Sorry, I'll be sure to cross-check my fake sources next time I write a fake news article. I'm starting to think those first two people don't even exist.

Bobby Brown said...

You're my inspiration of hatred. I'm going to go blog some more about murder and ass to mouth.

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised the victims of Katrina would want anything to do with
the Superdome.

If the Saints were such "heros", Why didn't they require the levees to be built as part of their stadium extortion plan?