Monday, April 09, 2007

LaRoche unable to handle pressure of playing in Pittsburgh

It was a disastrous debut week for Pirates first baseman Adam LaRoche, whose 3-for-25 performance in his first six games already has fans wondering if the former Atlanta Brave can handle the pressure of playing in Pittsburgh.

"Some guys start to feel it a bit when they put on that storied Pirates uniform," said teammate Jack Wilson, a longtime Pirate whose career .306 On Base Percentage can likely be attributed to his comparable intimidation. "You have to prove to the fans that you can hit .250, or maybe make a diving catch once before they really welcome you."

The Pirates' rabid fanbase has a reputation for being unwelcoming to new acquisitions, informally requiring players to prove themselves by winning somewhere in the neighborhood of 72 games before they can be deemed "True Buccos."

"You have to remember," said former Pirates manager Lloyd McClendon, "these are the same fans that booed Mike Williams out of town after just five seasons of being the team's closer. Al Martin played on the team for seven years without having a winning season, and the fans were right on the verge of booing him too. So it can be pretty brutal."

"There's a mystique surrounding PNC Park," admitted former Pirate Jeromy Burnitz, who hit .230 in his only season with the Pirates in 2006. "When you think of all the great players that have sat in that opposing dugout - Roger Clemens, Albert Pujols, Greg Maddux - I know I had trouble concentrating on playing well."

Despite the admissions of his teammates, LaRoche shrugged off the idea that he is intimidated by playing in Pittsburgh.

"Um, no? Intimidated by what?" said a straight-faced LaRoche. "What do you mean by 'the aura of PNC Park?' I'm pretty sure there's a 1979 World Champions banner in the outfield somewhere, I guess maybe that could be a little intimidating. Sorry, I have to go take batting practice."


Raj said...

I agree AL has no chance of being a Pirates legend. All he has going for him is that he's white. He's known as a good OBP guy! That doesn't fly here, if he wants to be a fan, he better start swinging that bat, we don't pay him to walk to first, we want him doing a flip over a catcher for a run, or flying through an outfield wall for a catch, or calling out a fat second baseman...These are the real ball players

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this. I haven't laughed so hard in so long. He played for a team on a 13 year division streak and he's worried about Pittsburgh pressure? Thats very funny. He forgot where his clubs were on the day he played Tiger Woods! You can have him. Great trade Braves.

Raj said...

Above ^ This article was meant as a joke, I seriously doubt AL is worried about pressure in Pittsburgh

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

There is nothing funnier than when someone posts an obvious sarcastic joke story on their blog, and some idiot actually thinks he's being serious.