Wednesday, August 09, 2006

He Shall Be Livan

The Diamondbacks acquired Livan Hernandez from the Washington Nationals on Monday for two minor-league pitchers. The reason for the move? Arizona wanted to take a chance on a veteran pitcher with playoff experience to bolster their short-term hopes of making a run at the postseason this year?

Nope.

The real reason, whether or not they knew it was the real reason, was that Arizona needed a pitcher who, if the team ends up making the playoffs and having success, lends his name very easily to a local radio-station parody song. If I'm a rock station in Phoenix, I'm already coming up with the lyrics to "Livan", set to the tune of Elton John's "Levon". I guarantee that if Arizona has any playoff success, which they sadly won't, that some radio in the Grand Canyon state would be blasting the lyrics "He was born a savior for the 'Backs on an August Day, When the New York Times said A-Rod is dead, And the Snakes Have Won!"

Will it be enough to enter the Pantheon of great sports songs, such as Seattle's "Sweet Shawn Alexander" (to the tune of "Sweet Home Alabama") or Pittsburgh's "Polamalu" (set to the Muppets' "Menomena")? Only time will tell. But in the meantime, I know who I'm rooting for down the stretch.

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