Saturday, September 09, 2006


NFC East
Dan: Eagles
Kevin: Giants

NFC North
Dan: Vikings
Kevin: Bears

NFC South
Dan & Kevin: Panthers

NFC West
Dan & Kevin: Rams

NFC Wildcards
Dan: Giants, Falcons
Kevin: Eagles, Falcons

AFC East
Dan & Kevin: Patriots

AFC North
Dan: Steelers
Kevin: Bengals

AFC South
Dan & Kevin: Colts

AFC West
Dan: Chiefs
Kevin: Broncos

AFC Wildcards
Dan: Broncos, Bengals
Kevin: Steelers, Chiefs

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


Mel Kiper Jr. has served as expert analyst for Teapot Dome Scandal's annual Draft coverage since 1984. He is also a vampire.

With the NFL draft almost 9 months away, most of you assume I'm either hibernating like a grizzly bear or sitting in a subterranean fall out shelter kissing pictures of Brady Quinn and going to the bathroom on myself. While there may be some truth to these rumors, I've started creating other arbitrary lists to pass the time. The first is a list of the top 5 babies in the world. The list of the top 5 babies is reflective of ultrasounds and home movies I have watched in the offseason. Check back in November for the complete Top 25 Big Baby Board.

1. Joshy
Joshy is in a class of his own. Amazing intelligence. Could possess ability to tie shoes by age 3. He's that good.

2. Harry
Harry has such a tremendous upside. This kid is mobile. Rumor is that he may able to walk within the next 4 months.

3. Michael
So much potential. If this baby comes out early, he will totally dominate the Reed household.

4. Charlie
Questionable work ethic but a real player. Loves ice cream.

5. Kyle
Good kid, eats too much dirt.
Headlines for Tuesday, September 5th

Florida State defeats Miami 13-10 - Teams combine for 3 yards of total rushing offense in a game that eerily approximated Mike Martz' wet dream.

Terrell Owens announces he's "ready to go" - ESPN assumes he probably meant "ready to go cause more trouble and all my teammates are motherfuckers"

Tiger Woods comes from behind on final day to win Deutchse Bank - Triumphant, Teary-eyed Woods proclaims, "This one is for this guy who watched our dog when we were away one time and the dog got sick but he made the effort to take him to the vet which was cool but he ended up being fine!"

Nats' Ortiz loses no hitter in ninth; homers at the plate - GM Jim Bowden explained, "This is how I envisioned our team winning games this year, but, quite frankly, these no-hitters-and-homering-also have been distressingly few and far between"

Toronto Argonauts' Damon Allen breaks Warren Moon's all-time CFL passing record - However, the CFL records for wickets, ballyhoos, and shamadams remain untouched