Anotha' Final on the Barbie - Fernando Gonzalez will meet Roger Federer in the Australian Open Final on Sunday; hype is already building to see if Federer can capture another Grand Slam title, or if maybe he'll tear his ACL or something.
Bear-ied in Vegas - The Bears remain 7 point underdogs to the Colts in the Superbowl, but coach Lovie Smith has been quick to remind people, "Remember, the Falcons were 13 point underdogs to the Broncos, and - oh shit."
Just Dollars Drew - The Red Sox and J.D. Drew finally agreed to a 5 year, $70 million contract; said GM Theo Epstein, "We had some disagreements, but I can't imagine that any more problems with Drew will come up ever again, ever."
Weird Dream Weaver - The Mariners are close to signing righty Jeff Weaver to a one-year deal; Seattle GM Bill Bavasi admitted he's a little excited about the addition, but that he's "tired of getting the rest of the league's sloppy seconds."
Nazi normal auction - A racecar from Nazi Germany is expected to sell for upwards of $15 million at an auction; the car is a valuable rarity after Hitler's failed attempt to replace all regular automobiles (aka "Autojewbiles") with a line of supercars.